Learning to Play Ron

I ran into this young guy, who's maybe about 26 now, when I was out contemplating karaoke the other night. Now some of you have heard me tell this story before, but it is one of the few "me" moments that I actually love. This is because most of you think I am totally down on myself all the time, and were that the case, I would never leave my room, if you get my meaning.

Anyway, I ran into Ron. Ron is this tall boy who looks just like Clark Kent, glasses and all, like the ones I wear if you have seen them. Now as the story goes, I cannot listen to REM's Losing My Religion without thinking that Elmer Fudd is singing it. So, a couple years ago I had just met this Ron guy through his girlfriend, so I turned to him and said, "I want you to come up on stage with me while I sing this song and you're going to let me play your arm like a guitar and you will not crack a smile." His only response was, "Sure."

So before REM started I explained to the audience of mostly Eastman School of Music Students - probably one of the most prestigious music schools in the world - that growing up I had taught myself  6 out of 7 instruments, but tonight I would be playing the Ron. Thank God he didn't need to be tuned, or there would have been a restraining order.

So, without a single expression on his face he stuck his arm out, and I strummed it like a guitar through the song. He made no expression whatsoever, and I sang the song like Elmer Fudd.

One guy afterward actually asked me, "Why did he do that?". All I could say was, "Because I told him to. DUH?"