FALLOUT #1: In Any Event (Inward and Outward)

Through all the years
I have not counted them,
You were beside me,
Either in reality
Or from far off.

You were there for decades,
Friend,
Resurfacing after a time,
But still the same.

When I think of our uproarious times
I cannot fail to smile
Or to laugh inside,
Sometimes outwardly,
Sometimes with sweet nostalgia.
The memory of things I said
Follow you to far off places,
And things we did
That follow me
To the ends of the Cosmos,
Resonate in who I am...

Inward and outward.

Then I -
Who encouraged you for years to create,
Who listened to your dreams,
Your vast memories,
Your unhindered passions -
Fell down a despairing well
Of my own making,
And not.

Inward and outward.

For the world had changed
And I was lost to it,
Down the despairing well,
With nowhere to go...

Neither inward nor outward.

And when I called out to you
In a pit so masterfully cut
From the rock of eons,
You turned your back on me.
You who held in  your hands
The very means
To lift me out
In every possible way,
Declined,
Like refusing an errant package,
Or shooing away a fly.

And I ask: Was it because I am lesser?
                  Was it because I failed?
                  Because I ran so far,
                  So far away...

Inward and outward?

Or was it that once
I confounded your loins
With truth?

In any event,
I find myself having to say
That I have no feelings for you...

In any event,

I let the limp flower die in my hand,
Falling in a bitter dance toward a frozen ground,
But tears of mine I can't seem to find,
For I no longer have feelings for you...

Neither inward nor outward...

May God truly bless your journey.

                                                                              - Andy





Copyright 2013 by Andrew T. Durham